In this chapter we discover that it is perfectly natural for us to want to feel liked and even needed. Peale tells us that if folks tell us that they don’t care if they are liked or not than they are not being honest with themselves because desiring to be liked and needed is part of human nature.
There are a few ways in which Peale suggests that we can get people to like us better. Who doesn’t want to be liked more? Right? So, here we go!
People absolutely love it when you can remember their name. Hey, even if they are room service in a hotel or the waitress in a restaurant, remembering their name means a lot to them! If you remember their name and use it in interactions with them, no matter what it is, it’s going to work to your advantage!
Acquire and cultivate the quality of being easy-going and relaxed, if you aren’t already, so that people feel comfortable around you. Being tense and easily upset isn’t going to earn you new friends or even the respect of the people you deal with on a regular basis.
In your endeavor to be interesting make sure you don’t cross the line into being egotistical. Yes, people like and tend to gravitate toward people who are interesting. However, keep in mind that no one likes a know it all! So whatever you do don’t overdo it when you are attempting to keep people’s interest in you.
Take care to watch how you interact with others so that you can improve your own personality. Some people don’t mind folks who swear like a truck driver, who’s just been cut off on the interstate, during normal conversation but it may not do you any favors with the majority! No offence meant to truck drivers, of course! But you get the idea here. Those parts of your current personality that tend to drive people away from you are the elements you might want to curtail or even modify a bit.
Be the bigger person and settle grievances when they arise rather than just letting things fester. You want to be likable but not someone’s doormat. Nor does anyone else want to be something you wipe your shoes on. Resolving problems, which will inevitably come up in any relationship, helps to drain off the negativity in your own mind as well as the minds of those you may still be having issues with. This is not only beneficial on an emotional level, for all of you, but on a spiritual level as well!
If you are not a, “people person,” you’ll want to work on that one. If you approach people you’ve never met with the attitude that you already like them they will be more likely to respond more positively to you than if you approach them with a less than positive or wary type of an attitude.
If someone tells you they have achieved something, congratulate them! Of course, expressing sorrow, sympathy or even disappointment about a negative event they’ve recently had happen in their life will certainly earn you points, too. You don’t have to wallow in the sad stuff with them but showing a bit of compassion for their situation certainly is what most decent human beings would do and, it’s allowed!
Peale also recommends in this chapter that you cultivate a deep spiritual experience in your own life. You will have something more deeply based within you that you can use to help other folks who may need it down the road.