Tracey Cox tells us in chapter one of her book, “More Hot Sex,” that we’ve more than likely had at least one person in our lives who was always reliably there for us when we wanted a good, “Snog and Snuggle.” She somehow figures that we’ve either had one person like that (available for no strings sex) in our past or currently have such a person in our lives now. These are folks we’ve never actually dated because personality wise the relationship, outside of sex, would never work.
Ms. Cox feels that sex buddies (friends with benefits) serve a good purpose in the sense that they prevent us from engaging in more risky and promiscuous sexual activity with complete strangers; all born out of a desire to be touched. She feels that it helps us to get through the droughts that some experience between partners in committed relationships, as well; the physical contact helping to lower our anxiety levels.
However, Tracey emphasizes here that friends with benefits should both be single. Furthermore, she stresses that it is not acceptable for one to start a relationship with a new person while continuing to keep their sex buddy on the side.
Tracey does acknowledge the down side to having a friend with benefits/sex buddy; this being that one person will likely begin to make more of the relationship than what it was originally intended to be. In short; a lot of times, one person often falls for the other and ends up getting hurt when the feelings are not reciprocated.