Right off the mark; Dr. Phil McGraw lets us know in this chapter of, “Life Code,” that life is a negotiation. Everything we do in life that involves other people in our family, circle of friends, at work or elsewhere is a negotiation of some sort. His basic message is simply this. “If you aren’t comfortable with negotiation and aren’t getting what you want out of life you need to get over it right now!” He gives us some pointers to follow in our negotiations in this chapter, too, and they are coming right up!
Pointer 1: Go for Win Win. Negotiation isn’t about screwing people. It’s about working out deals that are fair to everyone. Perhaps, for example, you want your other half to spend more quality time with you. You’re not going to get it if you aren’t willing to come to terms that are agreeable to both of you. It is true that you might get time through other means. But it won’t be quality, “That’s for sure!”
Pointer 2: Find out what it is that the other person wants, “First!” some of what Dr. Philip McGraw writes in this section of his original work might sound familiar to anyone who has read Stephen R. Covey’s, “The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People,” particularly when it comes to the concept of working towards Win Win solutions! Anyhow, the point here is this. When negotiating for something (even like the price on a used car) you might think that you know what the other person wants. But, it doesn’t mean that you really do. If we take the time to find out what the other party is really after it usually makes it a bit easier to come up with an agreement that is fair to everyone involved. Of course, the other side of the coin is that you must have a clear idea of what it is that you want out of a deal, too. If, as you negotiate, you find that you really want something different from what you wanted when the discussion started, “That’s ok!” You are allowed! Just be sure to express that! “It’s all good!” Honest!
Pointer 3: “Do your Homework!” That’s right! You’ll want to study up, particularly when the negotiation you are anticipating being involved in is pertaining to the purchase of products. Find out what the norm is, establish some criteria for what you are willing to accept and give in return for it. I’m not going to go on and on about this because I’m pretty sure you get the gist of the message.
Pointer 4: Set your Limits and Boundaries! Dr. Phil says here that setting boundaries and limits is a smart idea, especially where purchasing products is concerned. This way you aren’t reacting to the psychology used in order to get you to accept something you don’t want at a price you really didn’t want to pay for it.
Pointer 5: Understand what’s important to the person (or persons) you are negotiating with! This is a little different from what a person wants in the sense that wants are really based on values. If you can understand the value being placed upon the desires an individual has you will more likely be able to come up with an agreement that will satisfy all parties concerned without having to settle; giving up on honoring your core principles.