Chapter 5E: Rules 13-16 Of The Sweet 16: Dr. Phil’s Life Code Book Chapter Summary.

Step 13:You need to create a group of supporters to stand behind you as you move towards achieving your goals! Dr. McGraw tells us here that winners are not, “Lone Wolves,” and do need other people to support them in order to be successful. Of course, he points out, too, that in order to get people behind you as you embark on your journey towards success; you need to answer the question they will be undoubtedly asking, “What’s in it for me!” Most people, probably even you, won’t get involved in anything unless they are getting something out of it. It’s just human nature! So, if you want people to support you it would be in your best interests to advocate for them, helping them with their goals, etcetera. After all, “Life is a game of give and take,” right?

Step 14: Deal in only that which is true! In short; if you know there are problems with your health, in your marriage, friendships, family and other places, “Deal with them!” Lying to yourself and others, saying that everything is fine when it isn’t, isn’t fair to anyone. I think you can clearly see, too, that doing this certainly isn’t going to be helpful to you, either. Living out lies is often toxic to both mind and body, draining you of energy that would be better spent someplace else. So deal with issues as they come up rather than sweeping them under the rug and you’ll be on the high road to success! Pretty cool, ha?

Step 15: Use other people’s greed and ego’s to achieve your success! “Yes!” Baiters use this tactic to violate people. But that’s not what Dr. Phil is telling you to do here. He’s saying in his book that, since people tend to gravitate towards and trust people they feel are like them, it’s in our best interest to use this natural tendency to our advantage. In this way we can accomplish our goals, building some new alliances along the way. Dale Carnegie talks about this kind of thing in his book, “How To Win Friends And Influence People,” and it’s pretty much the same thing as to what Mr. McGraw has written in, “Life Code.” “Sure!” It sounds manipulative because it is. However, we’re letting folks feel liked and genuinely appreciated in order to gain their much needed cooperation and help. We’re not building them up like a Baiter would so we can rip them off, steal their spouse, car, money, etcetera.

Step 16: Carefully pick and choose your Battles! Sometimes conflicts are unavoidable. Dr. Phil acknowledges that fact in this part of his original work, “Life Code; The New Rules for Winning in the Real World,” and he is aware that there are times when you’ve just got to stand your ground. However, he also points out that there are many times when a battle occurs simply because someone chose to fight the fight. He advises us that we should only pick the battles we know we can win, especially when we are dealing with people we will never be able to trust. When we enter the arena we must have our homework completed and a clear vision of the outcome we are after, as well. Mr. McGraw also advises that we leave our opponent a way out of the conflict; the ability to exit with dignity should they choose to take it. We are also advised, at all costs, to never pick a fight and lose. If we get in so far and see that we cannot win; Phil tells us that conceding over an inconsequential point would be preferable to losing the conflict entirely to someone who we never really trusted to begin with. Why? Well, if we didn’t trust them to begin with, it was probably because we were already aware that they were a Baiter. Besides, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out at this point that Baiter’s will capitalize on our loss in a conflict with them at some future date, guaranteed!

Ultimately, Stay out of the tangled mess that fights often create. Win disagreements without battling and you’ll be a lot better off. Fighting out of frustration and pure anger is a very bad idea. It accomplishes nothing and makes you look like a fool. In short; only do battle when you have to, when you know you can win and when you are certain that the end result is worth it, preferably for more than just you.

Author: Brian Schnabel

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