Now that we’ve gotten through all of the dark stuff found in the first three chapters of Dr. Phil McGraw’s, “Life Code,” we can now turn the corner into more positive territory. “How’s that,” you ask? Well… It kind of goes on like this!
Because you’ve made it this far; it’s pretty clear that you are looking to improve your quality of life. Having just boned up a bit on how to better identify riff-raff will have made you more efficient in the sense that you’ll be able to enjoy more of the good things, which are a part of any human’s experience.
It’s kind of hard to live happy when you’re constantly cleaning up the disaster’s we’ve all faced because we’ve gotten involved with the wrong people. I know from my own personal experience that the people we hang around with certainly can determine the quality of life we enjoy. Keeping those away from us that have only one agenda, “Themselves,” certainly does help to create more positive experiences, plus greater success in the future!
Dr. Phil would like you to keep in mind that despite what you know about other people the only person you will ever have full control over is you. So, let’s take a look at what is working for you and what isn’t really working for you, shall we?
“Yes!” It’s another recommended exercise! What do you need to do for this one? It’s really pretty simple. Just make a list of all the things in your life that are not working for you. Then make a list of all the things that you want to be working for you in your life that just aren’t there. Then make a list of what you are doing in your life that is working for you!
After having done this exercise you should have a pretty clear picture as to what you need to work on and scrap all together. Of course, that means you’ll have a clear picture as to what you want to keep just the way it is, too! It is true that there are some things you may not be able to change at all. But if one doesn’t make the effort then they’re never going to know.
If being manipulated by other people is something that comes up as a major issue for you; Mr. McGraw suggests that perhaps it’s time for you to make out a list of the ten things you would most hate for people to find out about you. He suggests here that by doing this you get the opportunity to see this aspect of yourself for what it is, fix what you can, forgive yourself for what you need to and then move on.
It’s hard for people to target those things about you, for the purpose of leverage, when you’ve already dealt with what you were once insecure about. Healing your own wounds not only keeps the vultures away but also helps you to move forward with your life in a less stressful manner. Whichever weaknesses you may still have after all the self-analysis is done; you will at least be aware of and more effectively able to manage, “Before someone else attempts to manage them for you!”
However, Baiters don’t always sabotage us as effectively as we hinder ourselves. Dr. Phil points out here that we can really be our own worst enemies when it comes to creating stress in our own lives.
How does this happen? Well… It usually starts when we admit to ourselves that we want something more out of life, a specific goal, relationship, etc. Can we have the things we want in life? “Yes!” The trouble for most of us is that we end up stressing ourselves out so badly, attempting to get to where we’d like to be in the universe, we never make it because we are too busy worrying about all the what if’s that may or may not come up during the course of us striving for our desired achievement.
McGraw’s suggestions on how to beat the anxiety we may experience when pursuing a goal may be familiar to anyone who’s read, “How To Stop Worrying And Start Living,“ By Dale Carnegie; in particular the part where Dale talks about solving worry problems. Dr. Phil’s ideas are pretty similar to Dale’s when it comes to conquering anxiety about moving your life in a new direction.
Their recommendation is to jot down the facts on paper regarding the thing you want to do. Next write down all of the “what ifs” that could possibly happen as you move ahead with your plans until you can’t think of any more. Write down the worst case scenario for each potential situation you envision happening.
End result; Dr. Phil and I both are willing to bet that doing this little exercise, focusing on goals and other things you feel stressed about, will take a lot of weight off your shoulders. Why? Because when you take something out of your head and analyze it on paper it’s easier to see how small it really is, most of the time.