In this part of Mr. McGraw’s book; we are given the fifteen most common tactics that Baiters use to gain our confidence and access to our lives. Mr. McGraw does acknowledge that sometimes genuinely honest folks might use one of these tactics, too, with innocent intentions. So sometimes, in order to determine whether or not the tactic we recognize is being used by an honest person or a Baiter, we might find ourselves having to gather additional data.
Dr. Phil remarks here that it’s not a bad thing to let people know that you are watching them. How you choose to do this is up to you.
Personally; I have a very subtle tactic that I’ve used in order to let people know I’m keeping tabs on their stories, especially when meeting someone new for the first time. I do research on them online and off when I can. I take note of what they are into, places they’ve lived, phone numbers that come up in connection with their name, etcetera.
Then, when talking to them, I might ask a question right out of the blue referencing something I saw about them online or through another reliable source. I make sure it’s something that they themselves haven’t mentioned to me before during conversations or in other forms of communication.
People that don’t have anything to hide don’t flinch when I do this. But the folks that do? Sometimes the reaction is very subtle and interesting to watch. Sometimes a hesitation before they answer the question is the tell. Other times they might look away from me and say that they don’t know anything about what I’m talking about. Other times still; when my probing has really rattled someone they flat out demand to know where I found the information.
Please note that now and again; someone will get more upset than the usual nervousness over you researching them. So, depending upon who you are, this strategy I’ve just described might not be the best one for you. However you choose to let people know you are watching them just be sure to, “Use Caution!”
Ok! Now! Enough of that!